Tired!

Man, I can't even begin to imagine what will I become... I've been in this cycle long enough to get very acquainted with the feeling but not enough to console me that this feeling is temporal. I feel so useless and depressed, maybe. I've read a lot of books on seeing life positively, but why can't I? To always believe in the goodness of others, sorry I just can't see it in everybody.

I'm a mess but should I lie to myself that I'm in good shape just to look at me positively. And in turn, look at the world in a brighter vision?

Life always has problems and these problems are fleeting, so Bro. Bo says. But Bro, these problems of mine are not familiar, they're like the ebb and tide of the sea. Here now, gone later, and it's back. Perhaps, I haven't solved them and haven't learned the lesson these problems want to teach me. The fact that I know that some problem exist, I know that I need to do something about it. However, I lack the motivation to do it. I get excited to solve it one day and get lethargic the next. This always remains unsolved.

So I pray in desperation that God would listen and answer my prayers. Lord, give me the motivation, then let me see it, let me appreciate it, give me the strength to fight against discouragement. So that after all these, I can see my worth.